"Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world "


Pearl Jam - last kiss


God, or gods (I don't know how many of them are there in the Sky) took away her. I wasn't prepared for that. Some first minutes without that was a total end of the world. But then I decided.
I went out on the street, left my home, my family, everything. And then I saw: something changed. A lot. Everything seemed to be new, unknown, undiscovered, maybe even dangerous.
I walked down the street searching for what gods took away. Buildings seemed to be taller. Pavement seemed to be smoother. Grass ant trees seemed to be greener and bigger (remember, it's still the beginning of the spring). The cars were moving faster. And the shadows... Everything seemed to be ridlier, darker.. What to say about colors! Firstly I thought that someone has photoshoped settings around me. The sky looked unbelievably blue even at night, my red boots seemed to be as my own blood... I looked at the street lamps and thought that gods are still tauting at me. All the lights (street, car, apartments an so on) seemed to have holy auras around them.
I hoped that that's only because I never had time to look at these things on the right glance. But soon I realised it's because of my lost dearest.
All this time I was listening very carefully. Maybe I would hear? Yes, of course. There were a lot of sounds. My steps on the ground, ravens in the trees, child crying somewhere at home, a party at the club, wind on the street, my own breathing. But I heard her nowhere. I knew I'm going to loose my hope and leave it to those gods, who took away that sound. I knew it was sound now.
It was night still. I was in the park. A policeman may say I was behavinga victim. So would I. So I sat on the stairs to the inactive fountain. Looking at photoshoped night. I realised it was all a fake. Total mistake to live without that sound. It gave me a way of living and now, after this long walk in search, I realised I have nothing to live with and for. I saw the world as it was, is and as it will be. In real shape, real color and shadow. That sound was created by gods,
I know it now. To control the onesme, to make them believe in higher powers and their own weakness. And now they decided to make an experiment, how does the normal human being act without this control...
Someone came and sat beside me. I didn't care. He or she was sitting there for some minutes and then said:
- Got a light?
I gave. That was a young depressed, calm guy. He lighted a cigarette and looked at me. Calmly, slowly pointed at the night sky with many many stars and said:
- They took something away and you can't remember what?
I noded my head.
- It's a sound. Not a cry of lonely child, not the song of the bird, not the noise if this city. I know that sound. But i can't remember it.
- Don't blame gods for that. It's a trial for you. They try to check do you still believe.
- I would believe them for eternity if only they gave back that.
He looked to the sky. His cigarette was near the end.
- "Hold me darling, just a little while"
I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew I had missed".. - he sang in the mildly voice. When he stopped, I remembered everything. Those chords and notes, high and low... All those melodies I liked a lot and less.
I wanted to thank him, to hug him and hold him for those few words in sad notes. But he was standing now and i couldn't reach.
- Remember this song, that's your promise and that's what they took away. Music. Hold it. Keep it. And never stop believing in gods. - He walked away. I saw everything as it was yesterday - in a light fog.